He finally proposed to you and you said "Yes!". Once the initial shock wears off and you force yourself to look at other things (other than that sparkly diamond on your finger), many decisions will need to be made. When to get married? Where will the dream wedding be? Who are you going to invite? To help you start at the right footing, here are the first few things you should do.
Savor the Feeling
Savor the feeling of being in cloud 9 by keeping your engagement a secret between the two of you for up to 2 days. When you come down from the heavens... you have to consider how long your engagement will be. This will depend on a couple of factors, such as your target wedding date and how much time you'll need to prepare. A typical engagement lasts from six months to a year.
Don't Forget to Tell Your Parents
Share the news with your family! Tell each set of parents separately so that they can express their emotions freely, and won't have to deal with the surprise of the engagement. Traditionally, the bride's family gets the first news. It is always best for the two of you to inform the bride's parents about the great news. If you live too far from your loved ones, a phone call will do just fine.
Dream, Dream, Dream
The formality of your wedding will be reflected first and foremost in your invitation... second will be the location. Your dream wedding will fall into place when you decide where you what to get married and celebrate your union. Is it in a luxury hotel or your family's ancestral home? Garden wedding or destination wedding? If you're going all-out formal, you might appear in a classic long gown with train and your fiance can wear a classic pina barong tagalog or a tux, -- with guests in evening dresses and barong tagalog. At an informal wedding, almost anything goes.
Budget
A wedding budget is absolutely essential to planning your wedding. One of the best things to do right from the very start is to discuss who is going to pay for what or how much of a contribution, if any, parents are willing to make. Traditionally the bulk of the costs falls on the bride's father with the groom paying for things like the cars and church expenses but things have changed. Recent studys shows that about 50% of weddings are now paid for by the bride and groom, 30% by the bride's father and about 15% are paid for by everyone contributing in varying degrees. What affects the price tag? Formality: the more formal the wedding, the more expensive. Ultra formal affairs take place in the evening, and you'll have to match the site, food, and music to the overall feel and look. Date and time: Certain months and times of day tend to be pricier (December to February; weekends). Food: Dinner usually costs more than breakfast or lunch, and seated service is more than a buffet. Location: Celebrations in 5-star hotels are obviously going to cost more than garden receptions at Intramuros. Are you good in keeping tract of your expenses? We suggest that you discuss with your fiance if you can open a checking account dedicated specially for your wedding. Pay your wedding bills in check; that way you can tract your expenses and schedule your payments. This also serves as a security for you. It would be easier for you to walk around bridal fairs with a checkbook than with a bag full of money. If you or your supplier looses the check, you can always cancel the one that was lost and just issue a new one. Choose Your Entourage
Now is the time to honor family and friends who have been with you during your ups and downs by making them part of your wedding entourage. If they agree to be part of your bridal party, you might enlist them to help you with your wedding preparations. So whom do you choose? People who have touched your life, best friends, childhood buddies, siblings, a mentor or coach. Determine a Date
Choosing a wedding date you have to consider some factors such as: How much time will you need to prepare your wedding? Are any loved ones available on your wedding? They might have other upcoming events such as graduation, birthday, or pregnancy due date? You may want your wedding date to have sentimental value such as commemorating your first kiss.
Announce Your Engagement
Announce your engagement in the newspaper, your alumni magazine, your wedding webpage and anywhere else you want your engagement announcement to appear. Find out the name of the appropriate newpaper editor or department and ask for their requirements / guidelines or a standardized form, if available. Also ask if there's a fee for publication. Who to Invite
When creating a guest list, you'll have to consider such as the venue and food. Do you want an intimate wedding of 30 guests or a once-in-a-lifetime party for all your friends and family? Are you tight with budget? Obviously, the more relatives you must invite, the larger your list will be. And more guests, means more cash, as food and liquor costs are generally calculated on a per-head basis. So in addition to location, your budget will be a strong determiner.
Consider getting a Wedding Planner / Coordinator
Are you very busy & do not know where to start? Are you out of the country? Wedding Planners can guide you and help you with your preparations. They can start right at the very beginning or if you made arrangements already, they can pick up where you left off. Planning and coordination normally starts at least 6 months to 1 year before your wedding.
Don't just hire anyone. It is best to hire a FULL TIME Wedding Planner / Coordinator if you are busy with work and all. You will be sure that your wedding is in good hands and everything is going according to plan. Hiring part time Wedding Planners / Coordinators may not be a good idea since they too are busy with their own day job. When you decide to commit to someone for the rest of your life, you should start out on a high note. In this case, we are talking about a little perspective when it comes to your wedding.
Weddings should be glorious events. Two people are happily committing to spending the rest of their lives together. Family and friends should be gathered at the event to share in the joyful day. Alas, more than a few weddings have gone off with the bride or groom failing to fully enjoy the day. Frankly, more than a few brides and grooms have had miserable times.
There is one overriding rule you must apply to your wedding. That rule is perspective. The wedding is for you! It is your day! It is not a day where you cater to others. It is not your mother’s day, father’s day or a day for trying to placate feuding friends or family. This may sound like an obvious idea, but it often isn’t followed.
When planning for a wedding, there is a tendency to try to accommodate everyone but yourself. While you want to be friendly, you have to draw a line in the sand and you need to draw it before the wedding. Everyone has friends and family that can be a bit troublesome. Talk with them before the wedding. Explain to them that you want them to come, but you expect certain conduct on their part. If two old friends don’t get along, tell them to work it out or keep quiet at the wedding. “Party” friends should be told to keep a cap on their fun. Parents should be enlightened to the fact that this isn’t about them, particularly mothers.
At the end of the day, your wedding should be one of the greatest days in your life. Keep perspective of the fact it is YOUR DAY and take steps to make sure everyone knows as much. Problems may crop up. Fix them if you can. If you can’t, ignore them and have fun.
Be Prepared
Below are some tips that you might find useful in preparing for your wedding.
Marriage License
- The Application Form for a marriage license must be secured at the Local Civil Registrar from the city, town or municipality where either the bride or the groom habitually resides. NOTE: You and your partner must apply together and in person. Your relatives or wedding coordinator can not file this for you.
- You’ll probably have to pay a small fee for your license.
- You may also have to wait 10 days before it is issued.
- In some circumstances, you must apply in the county or town where you intend to be married, this depends on state law.
Note:The license is valid for 120 days from date of issuance. Don’t apply for yours too early.
- You will each probably need to bring most of the following:
- photo ID
- certified copies of your birth certificates issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO)
- certificate of attendance in pre-nuptial counseling and family planning seminar
- parents' consent (for 18-21 years old) or parent's advice (for 21-25 years old)
- death certificate, if widowed
- divorce decree, if divorced
Officiant Selecting an official to conduct your ceremony is up to you and your partner.
- If you would like the marriage to be legal, be sure to select someone who is authorized by the city or province where you want to get married.
- Religious ceremonies must be conducted by a clergy member (i.e. priest, minister or rabbi).
- For non-religious or civil ceremonies, the ceremony must be performed by someone who has legal authority to perform marriages (a judge, justice of the peace or court clerk, etc.).
Marriage Certificate / Contract
- A marriage certificate is a document that proves you are married. The marriage certificate has to be signed after the ceremony by:
- both spouses
- the person who officiated the ceremony
- one or two witnesses (principal sponsors)
- After the ceremony, your officiant will send your signed license to NSO. You should receive a certified copy for your own files within a few weeks.
General Church Requirements
- Marriage License:
- can be secured from the city or municipality hall where either the bride or the groom currently resides.
- certified true photocopy of the Marriage Certificate / Contract, if civilly married
- Baptismal and Confirmation Certificates:
- to be submitted by both parties
- new copies with annotation "FOR MARRIAGE PURPOSES ONLY"
- must be secured not more than three months before the wedding date
- Canonical Interview:
- couple will be interviewed one month before the wedding date
- to be conducted by the parish priest or his assistant
- Pre-Marriage Seminar:
- normally conducted during the day of the interview
- Permission from bride's parish:
- permit has to be secured from the bride's parish church if she is to get married at a different church
- form is provided by the preferred church
- Marriage Banns:
- has to be posted in their respective parishes for 3 consecutive Sundays
- to be returned to preferred church after posting
- prepare ID pictures just incase the respective parishes would ask for this
- List of names and addresses of principal sponsors:
- submit one week before the wedding
5 Ways to a Memorable Bridal Shower
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How many times have you dreaded attending the bridal shower of a family member or friend for the fear of eating unappealing finger food and playing boring games? Let’s face it, bridal showers and baby showers have held a negative stigma amongst our male counterparts for years. Why is this? There is no fun in spending hours playing the same traditional bridal shower games and eating bite sized vegetables and finger sandwiches. Let’s go out with the old and come in with new. Here are a few creative bridal shower ideas that may appeal to your upcoming event.
• Cut out for Love- Invite close family and friends to bring their best cookie recipes for the bride-to-be. During the shower each person can exchange recipes. Allow time to bake a few batches of cookies that day for dessert. As a special way of thanking your guests, give each attendee a set of heart-shaped cookie cutters to take home with them.
• Girl’s Night Out- Host the perfect girl’s night out. Ask your girlfriends to share helpful advice about love and relationships. Make it an overnight event, if possible. This will be your last chance to spend the evening at a slumber party! Don’t let your girlfriends leave without giving them a glamour girl lipstick pen to remember your special occasion.
• Love is Brewing- Throw an intimate tea party for your close family and friends. Allow your guests to bring their favorite tea(s) to share. Give your guests a heart-shaped tea infuser to remember your special day.
• Quotes of Love- Invite each guest to share there favorite “Love quote”. Allow everyone to write their quote in a journal for you to read in years to come. Send each guest home with a miniature “Quotes of Love” book as a special keepsake.
• The Perfect Pair- Invite couples to attend your bridal shower. You are sure to be the talk of the town. Assign each couple a famous television pair to portray. They are to be referred to as that couple during the length of the shower. Each pair will take turns acting out a scene from the TV show. This will be loads of fun! Send each couple home with a pair of salt and pepper shakers as your token of appreciation.
The key to hosting a memorable and unique bridal shower is to select a theme that fits the bride’s personality. The theme should fall in line with the type of guests you are inviting. Lastly, give your guests a bridal shower favor that reflects the theme of the shower. Your guests will be sure to remember the great time that they had |
Wedding Emergency Kit
Weddings are always full of surprises. Most of them are pleasant; however, the strangest things have a way of happening when you are the least prepared. Pack these items in a carry-on bag labeled ?Wedding Emergency Kit? and keep it handy on your wedding day. You never know what disaster you?ll be averting! - Non-allergic makeup remover
- Makeup/eye shadow/mascara
- Hair products: gel, hair spray, combs, pins
- Tampons/pads/painkillers
- Facial tissue
- Cold/allergy tablets
- Travel-size sewing kit (including an assortment of safety pins)
- Pantyhose/dark socks (for groom and groomsmen)
- Nail glue/polish/remover/file
- Earring backs
- Toothpaste/mouthwash/breath mints (the small kind)
- Cotton balls/swabs
- Antacid tablets
- Deodorant/body powder
- Cologne/after-shave/body lotion
- Instant glue/mini-stapler
- Extra car keys!
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Wedding Planning Stress Stress is a common factor that all couples planning a wedding share. It may be stress over the little details; money, planning or you may just feel overwhelmed. While you can't eliminate all of the stress inherent in wedding planning, there are a few ways to minimize that stress. In this article you will find common causes of wedding stress and strategies that will help you combat them.
Why is planning stressful? One of the largest causes of wedding stress is trying to keep up with social and personal expectations. Trying to mesh your ideas of a perfect wedding, while also trying to "follow the rules" and keeping up with family members' and friends' ideals is certainly a stressful task. The problem is more apparent when your ideal wedding doesn't follow the rules and doesn't fit in with the vision that friends or family members have. One of the best ways to combat this particular stress is to realize that no wedding will satisfy every guest, and neither will it follow every wedding rule. Another cause of stress in wedding planning is the quest for perfection. All couples want their wedding to match their view of a perfect event. Though this seems like a minor cause of stress, many couples take their quest too far. Unfortunately, while in the midst of matching the shoes, to the bouquets, you'll start to feel a bit overwhelmed. Trying to do it all alone! This is a major cause of stress. Get the groom, his family, your family and even friends involved. They can do some of the legwork on options and pricing. Trying to have a Hollywood wedding on a shoestring budget. If your goals are beyond something you can really afford this will create a high level of stress. People create wonderful weddings, with great meaning and memories, on small budgets. Make sure you don’t set expectations for yourself that can’t happen. Now relax, take a deep breath and re-examine your wedding goals, teamwork, budgets and expectations. Make sure everyone involved understands and then you can plan your wedding with as little stress as possible.
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